The Love Check

I recently decided that all my major life decisions will be made from the viewpoint of compassion. This is huge because common wisdom dictates that this makes one weak or sentimental. But I have now found that this is the only fulfilling path.

I looked back at the best outcomes of everything I’ve ever done, not just from the lens of money or personal benefit, but from the quality of the outcomes for everyone involved. The truth is that, objectively, the best outcome by far comes when altruism and compassion are front and center in my mind.

This is not to endorse self-neglect. I’ve also learned the hard way to look out for myself. The important thing is not what decision you make, but how you make that decision—the perspective from which you make uncomfortable choices.

We’ll always need to make these hard choices that involve whether or not to look out for someone else. I don’t believe these decisions are necessarily made in the moment. I believe we decide whether or not to show compassion based on who we already are.

I’ve decided to be the person who defaults to compassion—not just in how I treat people, but in what I think of them. Love is the framework by which I judge people, by which I decide how to treat them.

It’s a small mindset shift, but it makes a huge difference when making hard choices. “Do I invest in this friendship that’s not giving back to me?” The answer isn’t yes or no. It’s, “I must make this decision from a place of love.” The final answer in these situations is usually quite nuanced, but I believe you’ll always make the right decision if you do so from a place of love.

I have found that I’m more certain of my choices when I do so from a place of love—when I know that I brought nothing but love to the conversation.

I have very few regrets in life so far, and they’ve always been that I could have given more—that I could have loved more.

So for me, the question is always: Does my perception or decision pass the love check? Will I look back knowing that I chose to love?